July / August newsletter


19 July – 15 August 2010

Dear Friends

Two year ago when I first thought of getting on my bike and cycling around our four areas to attend mission events and hopefully stimulate thinking about how we relate to the communities amongst which we worship and witness, it seemed like a good idea…

Now I am simply aware of how unprepared I feel for the physical challenge. However I am very grateful to those ministers and congregations who have themselves risen to the challenge and thought of events in which I could be involved as I make my way round the Synod. Special mention should go to the Revds Alan Poolton (South), Sheila Coop (Central) Helen Higgin-Botham (Lancashire) and Peter Sharp in Cumbria who have taken the idea and ‘put flesh on the bones.’

I hope to be accompanied some of the way by ecumenical colleagues. For mission is something we engage in together. I was grateful to Rev Debbie Peatman Ecumenical Development Officer for the Churches Together in Lancashire for pointing out that this year is the 100th anniversary of the Edinburgh Missionary Conference which saw delegates from largely Protestant churches gather to consider how mission could be carried out in collaboration with one another. How far we have travelled together in the last hundred years!

So I look forward to meeting many of you over the summer as we enjoy these events and, to continue in words of yesteryear, to bring the ‘glorious Gospel of the blessed God’ to bear on the lives and concerns of our fellow citizens in the twenty first century.

The detailed itinerary will soon appear on the website. Please publicise this as is appropriate in your own neighbourhoods. A press release is available from the Synod office. So that I can share the stories of what happens along the way, a blog will be appearing on the website for those who want to learn what local United Reformed churches are doing in mission.

Yours in Christ,

Richard Church


Monday 2 August.  Shekinah Centre in Newchurch-in-Pendle.

Tuesday 3 August.  Clitheroe; Country market and lunch time service.

Wednesday 4 August.   Lower Darwen: Prayer walk and Meditation Group Tockholes.

Thursday 5 August.  Visit Darwen furniture store and Preston.

Penwortham URC are hosting a Worship Service at 6.30pm with an environmental theme and BBQ in collaboration with Leyland URC, Fulwood URC and Christ Church Methodist/URC – ALL ARE WELCOME

Overnight stay at Fulwood Manse.

Friday 6 August.  Visit to Kirkham Prison including tour and meeting with prisoners.  Poulton-le-Fylde.

Saturday 7 August.  To Condor green for lunchtime picnic.  Christ Church Morecambe for tea.  BBQ at Bolton- le- sands.

Sunday 8 August .  Breakfast Service.  Ecumenical Service

Monday 9 August.  To Carlisle and the Cumbria Area.

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As described in the last edition, our “Away Day “ this year was a return visit for most of us to the Methodist  Rufford Centre in Brick Kiln Lane near Rufford. The  Revd Helen, Colin and nine other members spent the day focussing on “Aspects of Prayer“.  After a short act of opening worship we looked at  “Praying with the Bible” discovering what ‘Lectio Divina’ actually meant – reading, re-reading, meditating on a passage of scripture , sharing your thoughts and feelings with God –  looking at several ways of contemplating  a particular Bible passage , setting the scene and reviewing  what your imagination unfolded.

By selecting and singing  our own choice of hymns, it good to realise how many of our favourite hymns can be used as excellent prayers. Our afternoon session was entitled  “Praying without words” : using objects and pictures to focus our prayers. Standing and using body actions to express the Lord’s Prayer in silence by imitating the actions projected on a screen was a bit of a strain on some aching arm and shoulder muscles!

After a free time to take a prayer walk in whatever way we chose we concluded with a short Communion Service.  In a nutshell, a good time was had by all and we are most grateful to Revd Helen

for the amount of time she must have spent in preparing such a well  thought-out programme for our “Aspects of Prayer” Day.

Many thanks also to Margery for offering to prepare and bring such an excellent buffet lunch after the usual outside caterer was unable to do so on this occasion

Mac Dunsmore

At Junior Church the children were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Little Josh was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.  Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down and looking scared.  “Josh, what is the matter?”   Josh whispered fearfully : “ I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife!”

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Lectionary Readings July and August 2010


4th        2 Kings 5:1-14, Psalm 30  or Isaiah 66: 10-14; Psalm 66: 1-9; Galatians 6: (1-6), 7-16; Luke 10: 1-11,16-20.

11th      Amos 7: 7-17; Psalm 82  or Deuteronomy 30: 9-14; Psalm 25: 1-10; Colossians 1: 1-14; Luke 10: 25-37.

18th      Amos 8: 1-12; Psalm 52; or Genesis 18: 1-10a; Psalm 15; Colossians 1: 15-28; Luke 10: 38-42.

25th      Hosea 1: 2-10; Psalm 85  or Genesis 18: 20-32; Psalm 138; Colossians 2: 6-15, (16-19) ; Luke 11: 1-13.


1st        Hosea 11: 1-11; Psalm 107: 1-9,43;or Ecclesiastes 1: 2, 12-14; 2: 18-23; Psalm 49: 1-12; Colossians 3: 1-11; Luke 12: 13-21.

8th        Isaiah 1:1, 10-20; Psalm 50: 1-8, 22-23; or Genesis 15: 1-6; Psalm 33: 12-22; Hebrews 11: 1-3, 8-16; Luke 12: 32-40.

15th Isaiah 5: 1-7; Psalm 80: 1-2, 8-19 or Jeremiah 23: 23-29; Psalm 82; Hebrews 11:29- 12: 2; Luke 12: 49-56.

22nd Jeremiah 1: 4-10; Psalm 71: 1-6 or Isaiah 58: 9b-14; Psalm 103: 1-8; Hebrews 12: 18-29; Luke 13: 10-17.

29th Jeremiah 2: 4-13; Psalm 81:1, 10-16 or Sirach 10: 12-18 or Proverbs 25: 6-7; Psalm 112; Hebrews 13: 1-8, 15-16; Luke 14: 1,7-14.


5th Jeremiah 18: 1-11; Psalm 139: 1-6, 13-18; or Deuteronomy 30: 15-20; Psalm 1; Philemon 1-21; Luke 14: 25-33.

12th Jeremiah 4: 11-12, 22-28; Psalm 14 or Exodus 32: 7-14; Psalm 51: 1-10; 1 Timothy 1:12-17; Luke 15: 1-10.

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The world is a dangerous place to live – not because of the people who are evil but because the people who don’t do anything about it.    Albert Einstein

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us daily.


As Rev’d Helen has recently visited Lindisfarne for a Minister’s Retreat, and 4th August is the feast day  for Oswald, it seems timely to include the following article :

Many Christians have indulged in fantasies from time to time about doing something spectacular for God, which would be remembered for centuries afterwards. Oswald, who live from 605 to 642 AD, was in a position to do so.

He was a King, but in those times such a title exposed him to danger as well as power. His father Aethelfrith was a great warrior who laid the foundations of the great kingdom of Northumbria. But Aethelfrith was killed by a rival, and Oswald was only twelve years old when he was driven into exile, with his elder sister and two younger brothers. For their own safety, all were taken to Irish territory in the west of Scotland.

The three brothers were educated by Christian monks on Iona. Meanwhile, warfare raged in Northumbria, and in due course the time came for Oswald to make a difficult decision. Should he remain in safety, or return to claim his kingdom? In 632 his older brother led an expedition there to sue for peace, but instead he was put to the sword. It was a time of broken dreams and bitter grief for young Oswald, who must have spent many hours in prayer before he decided to risk his life by following his brother south.

In his famous book, The Ecclesiastical History of England, Bede tells us that Oswald prepared to meet his enemies Cadwallon and Penda in battle on a December night at a place which is now called Heavenfield. His small army was likely to be outnumbered and victory seemed impossible. But that night, Oswald had a vision of St Columba, the founder of Iona. Columba prophesied that Oswald would be king, and reminded him of God’s words to Joshua at the river Jordan, “ Be strong, and of good courage….for you will be the leader of these people as they occupy this land.”

Before battle commences, Oswald made a rough cross from two young trees and held it upright until soldiers were able to fill the hole around it. Then he led his army in prayer that God would bring victory and deliverance to his people. He also promised that if they survived, he would send missionaries from Iona to bring the Christian faith to Northumbria.

Oswald’s subsequent victory has become part of the region’s folklore, commemorated by the name of that battlefield and a more permanent cross which now stands at Heavenfield. Many leaders would have regarded such a triumph as the high part of their career, advanced to the royal palace and quickly forgotten their promise to God. But Oswald remained faithful, and in due course St Aidan arrived in the new kingdom and made Lindisfarne the centre of his ministry.

Now it was time for Oswald to reveal a quality less frequently associated with kings, but even more vital to spread God’s work. That quality was humility. As the sponsor and protector of Aidan, he could easily have imposed his own agenda on this new mission. Such a test clearly came early, when Aidan declined Oswald’s offer of resources at court in Bamburgh castle, and chose the remoter location of Lindisfarne.

Not only did Oswald accept the monk’s decision gracefully: he continued to spend many uncomfortable weeks on the road acting as Aidan’s interpreter. His willingness to lay aside his kingly privileges and play second fiddle to a spiritual leader ensured that the Gospel spread quickly through the new kingdom and transformed many lives.

Within a few years, dark times returned to Northumbria. Oswald was slain in battle and his brother Oswin succeeded to the throne. Penda continued to wreak havoc with his marauding raids; on one famous occasion, Aidan watched him attack the royal fortress as he prayed on the Farne islands, and it is written that his intercessions caused the wind to change direction and beat back the flames from the castle gates.

But through it all, the light of Christianity continued to flourish and grow. Aidan is rightly remembered as the missionary who brought the good news to Northumbria, but he could not have succeeded without Oswald, the man brave enough to claim his earthly kingdom, yet obedient enough to play a humbler role in advancing a heavenly one.

With thanks to Saint Mary’s Penwortham (July/Aug10)

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Although I was recently absent from Fulwood URC for two Sundays as I was on holiday in Cornwall, as co-editor of the Church magazine I wan’t totally off duty.  If we visit any churches, I always look out for copies of their magazines to provide additional material for our own.  This year however, I was not as successful as usual as we visited more gardens than churches.

Before going away I had checked the Internet to find out about the local churches and discovered that Perranwell Methodist Church hold their service at 11am in the Anglican Church in the adjoining village (they were unable to maintain the large Methodist Chapel).  We arrived about 10:40am so we could find somewhere to park and found the (not very big) car park full but there was space on the road.  We decided to wait a little before going in which was lucky as the 9:30am Anglican service hadn’t quite finished.

At the end of their service the congregation moved to the church hall for tea & coffee and we went into church where we found 3 ladies, one of whom turned out to be the visiting preacher.  We were welcomed and given hymnbooks and an apology that about 5 of their members were on holiday that week.  By 11:05am no-one else had appeard and there was a discussion as to whether they should wait a few more minutes as another couple were supposed to be coming.  The service started at 10 past with the preacher playing the piano – a gentleman arrived during the first hymn and explained that his wife was busy with their grandchildren.  A very relaxed service, with a good sermon and definitely a good example of “Where two or three are gathered together…”

Neither the Methodists nor the Anglicans have a church magazine but their services and activities are advertised in the monthly newspaper for the group of three villages and several copies of these were to be found in our holiday cottage.  I was rather alarmed to read the following article in the April 2009 edition (but relieved that it was over 12 months ago!)


Young pet Nile Crocodile, answers to ‘Garry’, about 5 foot long.  Unfortunately he got a bit lively in recent warm weather and escaped from his home in Tarrandean Lane.  He was last seen heading for the Carnon River and Vissick’s Ponds.  Several car tyres at the garage in Devoran have had their tyres chewed so we think he is still in this neighbourhood.

He is quite a friendly chap, but has been known to eat neighbour’s cats, and on one notable occasion, a Jack Russell terrier.  So far he has not acquired a taste for small children.  I would however recommend parents that you don’t put temptation in his way.  If you see Garry on your perambulations in the parish please do not try to catch him just phone or e-mail me.  He has shifty eyes, a long nose, big teeth and shiny skin, like a ladies handbag.

On reading this a second time, I noticed that the e-mail address was aperson’s name followed by @prankster.co.uk which made me wonder whether a crocodile had really gone walkabout?

Margery Pitcher

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A man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
A man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
A man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.


A is for avoiding Arguments

B is for Believing in the Bible

C is for Consenting to Change

D is for Dealing with Doubts

E is for Escaping from Egoism

F is for forgiving others’ faults

G is for Giving Generously

H is for Hating Hypocrisy

I is for Ignoring Insults

J is for Jettisoning Jealousy

K is for being Keen on Kindness

L is for Learning to Love

M is for Minimising Meetings

N is for Not being Nosy

O is for Offering Olive-branches

P is for Practising Patience

Q is for Quietness

R is for Relinquishing Resentment

S is for Serving unselfishly

T is for Trouncing Temptation

U is for Unity

V is for Volunteering for a Church job

W is for Warding off Worry

X is for X-ray eyes, which see beyond appearances

Y is for saying Yes to all that is Yet to come

Z is for Zest for the Christian way of life

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Can you Identify the following proverbs, which have been put into unnecessarily complicated language.

  1. The satisfaction of companionship are characteristic between twin mortals, whereas a single adventitious encroachment upon their join situation produces an impression multitudinousness.
  2. An abundance of prehensile human extremities proves conducive to the alleviation of travail.
  3. Judicious and accurate assessment of the meritorious, or otherwise, of the internal content of a specific tome would be totally devoid of feasibility, were it to be predicated exclusively upon the appraisal of purely external evidence.
  4. Unexceptionably, aqueous atmospheric manifestations are in possession of inner layers of argentine hue.
  5. A moiety of a standard quantity of oven-treated dough gains preference over a categorical dearth thereof.
  6. Possession of a mere scintilla of erudition is fraught with hazard.
  7. The unavoidable consequence of even a solitary instance of dentally inflicted trauma is a doubling of circumspection on subsequent occasions.
  8. A plethora of culinary practitioners deleteriously influences the quality of the bouillon.
  9. A rotatorily locomotive dornick is consummately incapable of bryophitic accumulation.
  10. Situational scrutiny is mandatory as a preliminary to saltation.
  11. To have had unrequited amorous intentions is preferable to having been devoid of passion.
  12. Dual cranial endeavours are more productive than solitary cerebral activity.
  13. Persons who reside in heat-retentive transparent structures should refrain from propelling small geological shapes.
  14. Simultaneous possession and consumption of one’s enriched oven-baked composition would be unviable.
  15. Common herbage acquires verdant enhancement when viewed across a territorial barrier.
  16. It is advisable to refrain from traversing connective structures prematurely.

                                  Thanks to Perran News

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                                  OUT AND ABOUT IN THE LANCASHIRE AREA

                                  On 12th May, Fulwood URC was pleased to be asked to host an important meeting of Churches Together in Lancashire – the CTL Forum. A good crowd from across the county turned out to support  Bishop Geoff Pearson, the Bishop of Lancaster as he was sworn in as CTL’s new chair. Father Steve Pearson, his predecessor was thanked for his immense contribution in overseeing a period of huge transition and change.(You should be able to recognize where this picture was taken ).  Reports were presented on a number of ways in which people were coming together to work for the benefit of their communities hence the title of the Forum – “ Better Together !”  Radio Lancashire’s Joe Wilson was there to talk to contributors, Church Leaders and members about their vision for working together across boundaries of denomination and tradition. You may have heard one of these on Joe’s recent Sunday morning broadcasts.  Margery, Vivien and Mac attended the meeting, and Fulwood URC were thanked for “their wonderful hospitality”

                                  The following Sunday afternoon , Mac and Vivien represented Fulwood URC at an Area Service at Clitheroe URC to celebrate Read United Reformed Church the joining with Clitheroe, Barrow and Newton URCs to form a new pastorate of Clitheroe, Barrow, Newton and Read URCs. The Minister, the Rev’d Michelle Jarmany, who you will remember was one of our Companions in our recent Pastorate Review, will certainly have her work cut out travelling between all four churches but at least it’s a very pleasant part of the county to be doing it!        In a strange way we felt we were also there representing Ben and Margaret Edwards who were long-time members of Read URC before coming to Fulwood

                                  Two further Churches Together in Lancashire Celebrations were held during May to recognize the centenary of the Edinburgh World Missionary Conference in Edinburgh in 1910 were the seeds of the ecumenical movement were sown.  Songs of Praise Services were held at Lancaster University and at Leyland.  Mac and several other ex-members of the Christian Aid Choir was able to be part of Lancaster Songs of Praise. The service remembered  the many steps in the development of ecumenism, celebrated that the denominations now recognize each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, and  emphasized that the getting-to-know time is over and the way to serve the world is to work together.  The conductor, Christine Medd had painstakingly put together an excellent selection of hymns and songs, all of which  had been written in the last hundred years, and which were drawn from the wealth of all denominations.  Members of other local URC churches took part in the Service  in Leyland

                                  The Lancashire Area Service this year was held at Leyland URC on Sunday 13th June . Sadly the weather was unkind and the planned outdoor activities were restricted.  Margery and Mac reported for the Gathered Choir practice. The organist at Leyland URC, Janet Calman heroically came to the rescue when Rev Carole Marsden was unable to lead the choir due to illness, even though she herself was still recovering from a serious car accident during the previous week. Janet also entertained with impressive organ recitals during the afternoon and accompanied the evening service.  After excellent refreshments there was plenty of opportunity for fellowship with friends from all over the Lancashire Area. Duncan and Kath were able to come for the Evening Service, led by Rev David Coaker, the minister of the Leyland and Penwortham pastorate, when the Moderator, Rev Richard Church gave the address. It is always good to share in joint worship and to be reminded that we are part of a much bigger church than our own individual congregations

                                  One of the most popular and a regular speaker at our Church Fellowship over a good number of years has been Pat Ascroft describing some of the amazing adventures she has undertaken on behalf of her hosen charity Mencap.   At the end of June we were pleased to be able to accommodate  in church  a Midsummer Music for  Mencap fund raising concert   at which the June Baker Singers gave a splendid performance of a wide range of popular songs.  Revd Helen and a good number of our members supported the event, including Pauline and Claire who sang with the June Baker Singers . Pat has rung me to express her thanks to Fulwood URC for allowing the use of the Church, and  to those members who supported the event and particularly Margery and others who helped in the kitchen with the refreshments and in arranging chairs.  Pat was delighted that the magnificent sum of £424 was raised to support the work amongst those with learning difficulties.

                                  Mac Dunsmore

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                                  CHURCHES TOGETHER IN FULWOOD & BROUGHTON

                                  SATURDAY 18th SEPTEMBER – PILGRIMAGE TO LIVERPOOL

                                  Free time in Liverpool

                                  Evensong in Anglican Cathedral

                                  Tour and Meal in Refrectory

                                  Cost £20

                                  Please book  urgently – Forms available

                                  SATURDAY  16th OCTOBER – DAY OF REFLECTION

                                  At Fulwood Methodist Church from 10.00 am. Led by Rev Nick Moxon (Methodist Evangelism Office and Rev Debbie Peatman (Churches Together in Lancashire)  Theme: “What on Earth are we Doing?” – a morning exploring mission possibilities in Fulwood & Broughton

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                                  ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

                                  Mother Theresa once said: “we cannot do great deeds, but we can do small deeds with great love.”  That’s something to remember in our daily life. What good are great public efforts if they are fuelled by personal ambition or a desire to rule? If you are not personally kind, what good does it do you?

                                  The Bible says: ”If I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, and have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13)

                                  Who can you show some love to, today?

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                                  PEACE CANDLE

                                  In 1985 Rev. Blair R. Monie of New York visited the Soviet Union. In a remote village a woman approached him and pressed a small sum of money into his hand and asked that he do something for world peace. What could he do with three roubles? After thought and prayer he purchased a small votive candle, placed it on the altar in his church, and lit it.  He told his congregation how he got the candle and they decided to make it a permanent part of their church. They also purchased a supply of votive candles so that they could make a “Peace Candle” available for visitors to take back to their sanctuary.

                                  Our Peace Candle is lit each Sunday with the hope that our members will see it and remember to offer prayers for peace. This small symbol focuses us on Jesus’ call that we be peacemakers. Today “Peace Candles” burn In the United States, England, Australia, Canada, Iraq, Ireland, Kuwait, Puerto Rico, South Africa and Denmark.

                                  Brian and Jean Fazackerley were given a candle while visiting a church in Scarborough on a recent holiday. Visitors from other churches are invited to spread this reminder of peace by taking a “Peace Candle” back to their own churches in the hope that others will also make candles available for visitors to your church to take with them.   In our morning service on 27th June Revd Helen include this peace candle in our morning service

                                  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

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                                  A PUZZLE FOR OUR DISAPPOINTED FOOTBALL FANS

                                  Each space in the story below can be filled with the name of a British football team.  The first is BRIGHTON – now try to fill in the rest so that the story makes sense and has continuity.

                                  The sun was ………………….. the day we se sail for Hong Kong and the …………….aboard an ancient wooden ship which had a …………….. riddled with holes and a ………………… made up of Scots, Welshmen and others of the …………….. race.  The job of one of the men was to ……………….. the boiler and the happy nature of the cabin boy won all our ……………. .  On the whole the …………….. was good for the family and the rest did my …………………. as she had not had a holiday ……………. too long.

                                  At last we docked at the ……………………… which had just been build and at once headed for the fabled …………  …………. of Hawaii’s monarch whose horse had recently won the ………………. .  The building and the surrounding woods were looked after by ………………..    ………………… dressed in  ……………….. green who greeted us with friendly ……………….. as is their custom.

                                  We spent an interesting day visiting the Sacred Hills where ……………….. still roam freely.  At the foot of the hill we saw a tomb where they would …………….. their dead.  Finally we returned to port to have some tea, …………….. cake, ……………….. buns and some …………….. which had been in the meat store for some time.  When we had finished our meal we ………………… with our journey.

                                  THE CRAFT GROUP

                                  The Craft Group continue to meet twice a month. We can now claim to have attempted tea-bag folding, Spirelli, lace, embossing ceramic tile decoration and encaustic art

                                  Our next meetings are:

                                  Monday 12th July – 7:30pm

                                  Monday 26th July– 7:30pm

                                  Monday   9th August – 7:30pm

                                  Please note we now have a good selection of birthday cards and cards for special occasions on sale in the sale in  the church foyer.

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                                  STAINED GLASS WINDOWS

                                  Did you know…

                                  A stained glass window with the sun shining through it contained the brightest most vivid colours a medieval man or woman would be most likely to see. Hardly surprising then that they were used to depict saints and to tell stories.

                                  Jesus’ 12 apostles, as they appear in windows, can easily be identified by a distinguishing mark. For instance, St Peter carries keys – the keys to heaven – or a cockerel, which crowed three times as he denied knowing Jesus. Matthew carries money bags because he was a tax collector; James has a pilgrim’s scallop shell, which they used to scoop up water from streams as they passed. John carries a cup with a snake or dragon in it; legend has it that he was challenged to drink and cup of poison but it did not harm him.

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                                  We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted.

                                  We need one another when we are in trouble and afraid.

                                  We need one another when we are in despair and need to be recalled to be our best selves.

                                  We need one another when we would accomplish some great purpose and cannot do it alone.

                                  We need one another in the hour of success when we look for someone to share our triumphs.

                                  We need one another in the hour of defeat when with encouragement we might endure and stand again.

                                  We need one another when we come to die and would have gently hands to prepare us for the journey.

                                  All our lives we are in need and others are in need of us.


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                                  CHURCH FELLOWSHIP

                                  Our Evening fellowship were interested to learn of the new directions at the Fox Street Centre from Nigel Francis & Ray Armstrong at our May meeting and  about Revd Helen’s visit to Belarus at our June meeting. (Our plans for Operation Christmas Child 2010 are described elsewhere

                                  For  the July meeting we have arranged a  Fellowship Lunch at  Ferraris Restaurant in Longridge.

                                  Our meetings resume on 9th September when two more friends from Fulwood Methodist, Barry and Muriel Crossley will present a selection of slides, which we know will be excellent, entitled “ All Kinds of Everthing”.

                                  At our meeting on 14th October we will hold another Table Top Games evening and this time include a Hot Pot supper

                                  Rev’d Lena Talbot  will give her talk entitled  “Serendipity”.  at our meeting on 11th November.Not sure what it is about but we are told on the very good authority that it is well worth hearing!

                                  A treat awaits us at our meeting on 9th December, when the ever-popular Pat Ascroft will speak to us –  not sure yet what about as Pat’s visit to Namibia on behalf of MENCAP.has had to be cancelled

                                  We will take a collection on behalf of each  speaker’s chosen charity.

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                                  HOSPITAL UPDATE

                                  A 75 year old lady rang her local hospital with a polite enquiry. “Please could you give me some information on one of your patients?   She is Mrs Tiptree in Ward 3.  She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilized or improved?  The nurse on the ward checked the notes.  “I’m pleased to say that Mrs Tiptree’s condition has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied  and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow.”

                                  “Oh, that’s wonderful news. I’m so happy, thank you so much!”

                                  “You seem to be very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?”

                                  “ No, I’m Mrs Tiptree. Nobody tell me anything in here!”

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                                  Proverbs answers

                                  1. Two’s company, three’s a crowd
                                  2. Many hands make light work
                                  3. Never judge a book by its covers
                                  4. Every cloud has a silver lining
                                  5. Half a loaf is better than no bread
                                  6. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
                                  7. Once bitten, twice shy
                                  8. Too many cooks spoil the broth
                                  9. A rolling stone gathers no moss
                                  10. Look before you leap
                                  11. It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all
                                  12. Two heads are better than one
                                  13. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones
                                  14. You can’t have your cake and eat it
                                  15. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence
                                  16. Don’t cross bridges before you come to them.

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                                  Football teams

                                  Brighton, Orient, Hull, Crewe, Celtic, Stoke, Hearts, Ayr, Motherwell, Forfar, Newport, Crystal Palace, Derby, Forest, Rangers, Lincoln, Alloa, Wolves, Bury, Dundee, Chelsea, Oldham, Preston.

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